Welcome, All.

Welcome, all of you, to my not-so-humble home. As you should all know, I have conquered your planets. However, you may not know that I have picked a select few individuals and brought them here. You are those individuals. At certain times during your stay, I might pit you against each other in a battle to the death. The ones who die will be sent away, to a place they won't leave until they can prove themselves worthy of doing so.

The rules are simple:

1. You are under my command and must listen to my rules.
2. Anyone caught not following a rule will be punished.
3. I show no mercy to anyone who breaks my rules.
4. If you think a rule is unfair, then you can go to our complaints booth.
5. If you go to the complaints booth, you will be punished.
6. If you want to talk to me in person, you must have an appointment.
7. I do not take appointments.

These are just the basic rules. I hope you enjoy your stay.